Billy Bob Thornton announces, "I am not gay."

In a shocking turn of events, famous actor Billy Bob Thornton has released a public statement declaring  his heterosexual leaning.

"Hey, I'm not gay," Thornton stated in an impromptu press conference. "I can assure the world that I am 95% not gay. Yes, I auditioned for Brokeback Mountain, and I might have smacked my dog when I didn't get the part, but that's only because I wanted another goddamn Oscar nomination."

The announcement has turned the entertainment industry on is head. Global media publications haven't been this overwhelmed since Michael Jackson revealed he was born to an Oklahoman Japanese family who named him Micky Jack-san, and that he had undergone two skin pigmentation changes because "chameleons adapt, and I [Jackson] love nature."

Soon after Thornton's admission ex-wife Angelina Jolie issued a response via her PA, Brad Pitt. Pitt relayed Jolie's feelings: "I knew it. I always had a suspicion, like when we got married. And when he suggested we wear each other's blood around our necks, I remember thinking that was a pretty straight-guy thing to ask."

The Oscar-winner understood the precarious implications of his outing, especially in Hollywood, but confidently assured listening reporters he doesn't "give a flying pig shit."

When asked if he would ever consider a homosexual relationship, Thornton replied, "No. Listen, I can't help my sexuality, I was born this way. This isn't a choice. Xenu, blessed be he, made me straight and I will respect that until I die."

Across the various social networking sites, there was a mixed response from Billy Bob Thornton's celebrity peers. Britney Spears, on Twitter, said, "OMG. This is totes crazee. Soooo brave from BBT. #godlovesyou".

 Meanwhile, renowned anti-straight campaigner, couldn't help but detail his anger on his blog, 'God Hates Straights'. "This Billy Bob Thornton is sure to feel God's unsparing wrath in light of this despicable declaration," Phelps wrote, literally thirty seconds after the announcement. "I will pray on his cursed, vagina-loving, Eve-worshipping soul, in the hope that he may realise the sickness that is his deviance. A picketing event will be held at this wrongdoer's house tomorrow at 3p.m., followed by lunch at Hooter's."

So, what do you think?* Has Billy Bob done the right thing, or has he effectively signed the death certificate of his career?

*There is no comment section, so just keep it to yourself, kay?